Throughout my life I have always been judged on my size. People make it so its not obvious but its always pretty clear to me as they always pick the thinner, prettier women in the end. An incident at college nearing the end of my time there was when another student was asking around for people to be in her photography photo shoot. I made it clear that I was happy to help but she then said something along the lines of my hair type wasn’t what she was looking for. It may sound silly but this did effect me in a small way because it was clear that she wanted the typical slender women to promote her made up brand.
I’ve had the feeling of judgement through guys before, they may not say it but I just know its my size that is the problem as to why they don’t commit. I feel as though they are embarrassed to be seen with me but what bothers me about this situation is they knew exactly who I was before anything started and when it got real they didn’t want to pursue.
Of course there has been other occasions where judgement has also been involved, in situations such as school with physical education. I always found the majority of the time I was picked from the last few people but what made me proud was when the activity was Hockey. I’d never played it before but surprisingly I was really good and my team always cheered me on. From then on for Hockey I was always picked first. This gave my confidence a real boost and made me realise that no matter what your appearance may be, if you’re good at something then that doesn’t matter.
I know I’m not some perfect, gorgeous, sexy women. Yes I have imperfections but who doesn’t? I have stretch marks, curves I don’t want. And yes I know people who judge me straight up on that but honestly if that’s how you’re gonna act so be it, you’re just missing out on some amazing people and for me I’ll probably have the privilege of knowing them, so really it’s your loss.
Just remember in life that people are always going to judge no matter what, so you might as well dress how you like and act the way you want. Along the way you may lose people but that only shows they weren’t worth having in your life, as people who truly care wouldn’t judge you like that.