Parents meeting

On the 16th of May would have been the first time of my boyfriends and my parents meeting after having been together for almost 11 months. This can make people really nervous and I can see why, having your parents seeing their producers to for see the possible out come of your partner.

Parents meeting Before:

On my birthday I’ve arrange a meal which will be the first time my parents and boyfriends parents will meet. I’m a little nervous for the out come as they are such different types of people. I on one hand have four parents, when we all thought twos enough, as a result of my parents divorce and re-married.

I’m just glad my birth parents are outgoing enough to be the ones to start conversations, plus my dad can talk for Britain and to absolutely anyone, which can actually be really embarrassing but I love him for it.

Parents meeting After:

On the night itself my dad was unable to attend as a family matter occurred, so my mum and step dad were the only ones to have met my boyfriends parents. I was very happy with the outcome, they hit it off well with having quite a few things in common. A few topics that were spoken about were their similar music interests and how our family trees are so confusing, It then lead to if we ever want to tie the knot, my boyfriend and I both turned to one another with a face of shock hahaha, a little soon to be talking about that for us right now, lucky it wasn’t my mum suggesting it but his. That night I had the most amount of conversations with his parents, his mum particular then I’d really had over the past few weeks, mainly because we’d found so many more topics of discussion with our similar interests.

Well that was a little insight of my parents meeting, if you have a story related to this feel free to comment below, I’ve heard my fair share of difficult meetings.

until next time.





Mental health awareness.

This month (May) is mental health awareness and I thought about doing a post on my health previously, in fact I’ve already been writing it so I thought I might as well combine it into this one.

I’ve not yet been diagnosed with OCD but after doing in depth research I know that I do suffer a variety of different forms, especially after my sister had actually been so diagnosed but with a different form of OCD. The OCD I suffer with, people are most likely to so say that’s nothing serious but for me it affects my everyday life, with the majority of time being slightly late for work and meeting up with people, just before bed when setting my alarm and even leaving the house. These forms of OCD also cause me to have anxiety and it’s really not nice as they can cause me to have a not so nice of a day.

My OCD causes me to count, count the things that can cause danger to myself or others. In the mornings there are two major things that’ll make me late for work. These include my hair straighteners, I leave them awhile to cool while I finish getting ready then I come back to them, continually touching them to see if they’re cool and making sure they are unplugged and switched off.

I the have to count and touch till the number 13 and this can go on up to three times. I’m not sure why the number 13 but it must be done. The second thing that can make me late to work is the front door. If my parents are out I have to do the same with the door and push it 13 times to make sure it’s shut, a few times I’ve even walked back from the top of my road to check again, this is why I always hope they’re in for when I leave so I can skip out that step.

Setting my alarm at night for work in the morning, it’s a serious challenge and its gotten worst lately, to the point it can take me 10 minutes just looking at the little clock symbol in the corner. The other night when I had my boyfriend sleeping round, it already taken 4 minutes, so he started rubbing my back and saying its all set, calming me down.

I’ve recently spoken to my boyfriend and sister about going to the doctors and actually sorting this out as its bothering me that much, it’s just gotten worst over the years and I say I started this around the age of 12, I’m now 20.

It changes day to day on what I might be checking depending whether or not I’ve used it. I’ve also seemed to have broken many things in my time from checking, I’ve gone through quite a few alarm clocks because where I constantly press a button, it’d stick inwards. I’ve broken my home button on my iPhone from pressing to see the clock symbol. Sink taps from twisting them so tight, end up loosening the bolt causing it to leak. Not one I break but cause me pain is, doing up bottle lids so tight that when it comes to opening them, they pull all the skin on my hand, making them very dry and red raw.

I’m also believed to have a form of dyslexia, my brother has a form and people who spend time with me notice it too. I can mix letters and words up, I also have trouble reading certain words that are actually not difficult. Not long ago I was reading a billboard at a train station with my boyfriend and there were quite a few words I couldn’t sound out properly, along with leaving the train I mixed up the open and close buttons, that one worried me a little as I’ve never been that bad. Everyday I’m with someone with a different form of mental illnesses, they aren’t always noticeable, even people that you least expect could be going through so much, yet seem so fine.

Mental illness is a serious matter with more and more people being diagnosed each day, we should all be a little more considerate of one another. Some things that are said as a joke can be taken the wrong way and cause all sorts of problems for people that suffer.

Well I wish you all the best.

Happy mental health awareness month?



Summer body?

Have I got my summer body ready? Yes. Is it was others would class as a summer body? Definitely not.

As summer draws closer, I seem to stumble more and more over memes and photos about having your summer body ready.

In all honesty why do I have to work to achieve my summer body. Why can’t I already just be given that title? Just because my body isn’t someone else’s idea of the perfect summer body, doesn’t mean it’s not perfect to me.

I grew tired of trying to please other people on the way I should look. Yes I may not be how I’d want to look but that doesn’t mean I’m not content of how I currently am. So what if I have a few more lumps and curves compared to you, we are all different and we shouldn’t feel the need to compare ourselves to one another.

So if you’re rocking some high waisted bikini, why can’t I? You’ll see me doing the same.

If I wanna be wearing a crop top and high waisted shorts, I will.

I will not be pushed down into thinking I’m not good enough and I’m not equal to those worthy of dressing like this just because of my size. So you will more then likely see my stretch marks and cellulite, and for you to go ahead and pick out on my imperfections, isn’t that possible I’ve already done that to myself enough times, I don’t need you to also beat me down and lower my confidence.

We all have imperfections, we should all be equal to one another. This doesn’t just apply to being plus size, you may even have scars or birth marks, just things that you don’t like about yourself, but trust me when I say this, you are BEAUTIFUL! Not matter what anyone says.

We shouldn’t be beating each other down with our horrible words, we should be building each other up, there’s already enough cruelness in the world, don’t add to it.

So this time I’ll ask you.

Is your summer body ready?





The Dangers Of Online

When I was younger I had one extremely scary experience with being online. They always tell you to be careful on the big wide web as there’s so many creeps and weirdos out there, but then on the other hand I knew so many people who got into relationships through online.

Given the fact I was about 9 years old, little did I know they were actually through proper dating apps and again why did I think I needed a boyfriend at this age, I’m guessing it was through things like TV that because people were dating, I felt like I was missing out.

Any woo I was on some child’s online game, where it’s a free roam, connecting to people all around the world, I believe it was called ‘Habio’. At the time I was on my friends PC, who I’d hadn’t seen in ages.

I then ended up talking to some character, believing whatever people said was actually true. I learnt out the hard way. At this age I was old enough to have a phone for the purpose of when I stay with my mum I can contact my dad, along with being able to walk home from school I would use it in emergencies.

When my friend left the room, I continued to talk to this person. They ended up typing their phone number, me being so gullible back then, I put the number in my phone, thinking oh wow I could actually have a boyfriend. I then proceeded to message the person. That’s when the fear all began.

My friend returned and I received my first message, it was a photo of a child in a school, something they searched in Google. Receiving those messages continue for about three or four times that evening.

I then received a phone call and all I could hear was old men laughing, I then built up the courage to say ‘if you don’t stop I will call the police!’ After that I didn’t receive any more messages but I still turned my phone off for the fear that they may some how track and kidnap me. I never bothered to tell anyone for the reason being I knew I would get told off and have my phone taken away, believe me I learnt my lesson just from the fear. It stayed only between my friend and I.

So please remember to be careful online, there are so many dangers out there.



First Time Fears

Everyone has some sort of fear or doubt how the first time would be. Of course I had my fair share of fears before hand, after hearing others stories of their first time; them saying about the pain they felt and feeling uncomfortable. The night it happened was very unexpected but it felt right.

I knew he was carrying protection so I asked if we could try it, we then got comfortablearticle-2108810-0F83FEDD00000578-242_468x286 and so it happened. It was a bearable pain, which felt like very tight pinching.

There was a slight mess made from bleeding but that was to be expected from that type of pain.

Honestly I heard many mixed things about having sex for the first time, one being you think you’re gonna feel different but the truth is you don’t. You can feel a connection to your partner for having been so vulnerable from being bare skin naked but other then that there is no difference.

The next few times were slightly painful but not as bad as the first. It starts to feel good and enjoyable after a while, then you can slowly progress into doing a variety of different positions.

If you wanna share the story of your first time feel free, even if you had an embarrassing experience.



My first kiss went a little like this.

You might think that sounds familiar and that’s because it probably is, especially if you were into pop music back around 2010, Anyway a little off topic.
So the story of my first kiss.
To begin it was my first date with a guy I’d been friends with for over three years, he was my closest male friend through secondary school and this was our first time meeting up in over a year and a half because of going to separate colleges.
We went out for dinner at my local restaurant and he ended up offering to pay the bill, after we went for a walk around the restaurants flower gardens and ended up reminiscing our friendship through school.
We followed a path to a secluded area and it then lead to him turning so we were face to face and him asking me ‘how would you feel if I did this?’ Then he lent in and kissed me. It was cute how he did it but you could tell afterwards that he wasn’t actually looking to get into a relationship, he was then telling me how he was still not completely over his ex. This of course bothered me, with the fact of why actually bother leading me on to then end up telling me that.
The kiss itself was partially expected from how we’d be speaking so much. It was done at the right moment, with the perfect setting, no one there other then him and me. I’d never really thought what it’d be like to kiss someone, not just a little peck but a proper kiss with partial tongues. I was also given some pointers but honestly he didn’t really have any experience himself, so it was basically to his satisfaction.
If you’ve got the story of how you’re first kiss went, feel free to comment below, It’d be cool to hear from you.


Online Dating

For me I’ve felt there’s always be a stigma to online dating so if the occasion arouse when talking to friends I’d get embarrassed and play it off as though I didn’t. But for my situation I didn’t class it as online dating as I never went out to look for it or played it out as a relationship.

This sounds strange doesn’t it…? Well let me continue.


Nearly three years ago is when it all began, I met him online, a guy from Australia, when I was in a very low part of my life, thinking no one cared and perhaps they would be better off without me.

On the 24th may 2014 is when I met him online whilst playing my all time favourite game ‘GTA’. I always had a fear of people online as you can never trust they are who they say they are, I found that out the hard way, but let’s not get into that right now.

On that day he sent a photo of himself as I told him my doubt but I did not send him one. We went weeks on end talking, sometimes 9 hours plus a day, it wasn’t until October of that year he first saw me (5 months later). I didn’t send him a photo, instead I used a live camera. He was of course shocked because after talking for so long you build up an image but I was nothing like he pictured.

By this point it didn’t matter about looks as we truly understood one another and liked each other for our personalities. We felt so comfortable with one another as we were in the same situation, felt like we had no one, both our parents were divorced, didn’t have a job and so we enjoyed talking so much, making the best out our time with laughter and smiles.

By the time I started a new course and went back to college, I had no interest in making new friends, I was happy with just him and my original ones. A few months later we took our talking from our console to our computers using Skype. By this point I knew absolutely everything about him, last name, address, family members, history, just everything. But him on the other hand only knew my first name, some family members, and that I live somewhere in England, and he was alright with this.

I was too scared to tell my own family members of him as I was scared of their judgment, so for the first month of speaking to him I told family but they continued to ask me things about him so in the end I told them I stopped talking to him. So in the end they forgot of him, though I continued to tell my little sister everything as she didn’t really have a judgment on the situation.

As the second year past it began to get more serious with actually wanting to make plans and meet each other there was also some missed communication and as I began to get bored of his mixed signals and his no show of true dedication. I actually wanted more in life and to live life in the now, as I pretty much spent two years of my life inside.


In June 2016 I thought I’d give the dating app ‘tinder’ a go. I did get quite a few matches though every guy was the same, with a simple ‘Hey’ or ‘Hi’, nothing different or out the ordinary. You could just tell these guys didn’t read the bio that I went to great effort to make.

That was until one guy messaged and clearly had read the bio as his introduction drew me in. The conversations continued and then went on to ‘Snapchat’ to prove with photos. It wasn’t till the day before that after I told my mum of him, she went on to stalk him only to find he has a girlfriend. It was then I called him out and he went on to explain polyamory, which is basically multiple relationships with the consent of all involved.

So I thought this may work out given I have the guy from Australia but also this new guy, especially when his girl is in America. To conclude; the American ended things between them as this wasn’t the outcome she planned for and the Australian didn’t accept it, so it’s me and the tinder guy, of course it was never as simple as that.

Turns out you can find love on tinder as funny as it sounds.




Well let’s dive into a fairly 6b8694df80b828c82e5d442844cf9680new topic to me, lingerie. Since becoming sexually active I’ve wanted to explore a variety of areas, one being lingerie. I purchase all my sexual items off the site ‘LoveHoney’, being that was where I had one of my first items brought for me, along with it being a site I knew of before. I brought my first piece of lingerie in November which was a red baby doll along with a matching thong. When it arrived I instantly tried it on. My first thoughts were very impressed, the way it covers all my disliked curves but also intensifies my boobs and holds them well. First time wearing it for it’s purpose my boyfriend was very surprised and excited for what I had in store for the evening.

It’s one size, fitting size 18-24 UK, brought in the sale for £8.49 instead of £18.99. The red matching thong is a size L/XL which is a UK size 16-18, it was brought for £2.50 in the sale rather then £6.99.


My most recent piece of lingerie is a black corset with suspenders and stockings. I got it in a size 1x/ 2x which fits an 18-20 UK, I purchased it when it was on sale for £20 instead of £29.99.


The lace detailing is so pretty, the only down side to this though is because the cups are slightly padded they are too small, so of course I have some spillage.

I would like to possibly have a variety of different pieces through out the years since my first one made me feel sexy and felt good. I probably wont go so extreme anytime soon with things such as body stockings and rope but you never know what the future will hold.



GirlBoss Review

Amazing. That’s all I needa say… Nahh jokes but it was amazing. I loved how you saw her development starting simple from her passion to end up creating a business.

If you haven’t seen the show, I highly recommend it. The plot is basically a girl named Sophia, has been shown as a misfit, she discovers a passion for fashion and becomes an unlikely businesswoman in the process. She has many struggles involving money and her relationship with her boyfriend. As her business grows, she has to learn to cope with life as her own boss.

The show is really inspiring, giving you the message that it is possible to follow your dreams. This is what inspires me most, yes it may be a TV show and not real but that doesn’t mean it’s not possible to reach for your dreams. So one day I hope to do my dream job and living life how I want to live it, not made to do things I don’t wanna do, being unhappy. You’ve gotta work hard and sacrifice at the start to get that end result. No pain, no gain.