This month (May) is mental health awareness and I thought about doing a post on my health previously, in fact I’ve already been writing it so I thought I might as well combine it into this one.

I’ve not yet been diagnosed with OCD but after doing in depth research I know that I do suffer a variety of different forms, especially after my sister had actually been so diagnosed but with a different form of OCD. The OCD I suffer with, people are most likely to so say that’s nothing serious but for me it affects my everyday life, with the majority of time being slightly late for work and meeting up with people, just before bed when setting my alarm and even leaving the house. These forms of OCD also cause me to have anxiety and it’s really not nice as they can cause me to have a not so nice of a day.

My OCD causes me to count, count the things that can cause danger to myself or others. In the mornings there are two major things that’ll make me late for work. These include my hair straighteners, I leave them awhile to cool while I finish getting ready then I come back to them, continually touching them to see if they’re cool and making sure they are unplugged and switched off.

I the have to count and touch till the number 13 and this can go on up to three times. I’m not sure why the number 13 but it must be done. The second thing that can make me late to work is the front door. If my parents are out I have to do the same with the door and push it 13 times to make sure it’s shut, a few times I’ve even walked back from the top of my road to check again, this is why I always hope they’re in for when I leave so I can skip out that step.

Setting my alarm at night for work in the morning, it’s a serious challenge and its gotten worst lately, to the point it can take me 10 minutes just looking at the little clock symbol in the corner. The other night when I had my boyfriend sleeping round, it already taken 4 minutes, so he started rubbing my back and saying its all set, calming me down.

I’ve recently spoken to my boyfriend and sister about going to the doctors and actually sorting this out as its bothering me that much, it’s just gotten worst over the years and I say I started this around the age of 12, I’m now 20.

It changes day to day on what I might be checking depending whether or not I’ve used it. I’ve also seemed to have broken many things in my time from checking, I’ve gone through quite a few alarm clocks because where I constantly press a button, it’d stick inwards. I’ve broken my home button on my iPhone from pressing to see the clock symbol. Sink taps from twisting them so tight, end up loosening the bolt causing it to leak. Not one I break but cause me pain is, doing up bottle lids so tight that when it comes to opening them, they pull all the skin on my hand, making them very dry and red raw.

I’m also believed to have a form of dyslexia, my brother has a form and people who spend time with me notice it too. I can mix letters and words up, I also have trouble reading certain words that are actually not difficult. Not long ago I was reading a billboard at a train station with my boyfriend and there were quite a few words I couldn’t sound out properly, along with leaving the train I mixed up the open and close buttons, that one worried me a little as I’ve never been that bad. Everyday I’m with someone with a different form of mental illnesses, they aren’t always noticeable, even people that you least expect could be going through so much, yet seem so fine.

Mental illness is a serious matter with more and more people being diagnosed each day, we should all be a little more considerate of one another. Some things that are said as a joke can be taken the wrong way and cause all sorts of problems for people that suffer.

Well I wish you all the best.

Happy mental health awareness month?

Lauren

Xx

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