Mirror Mirror

In the majority of people’s typical day it would include looking in a mirror, some longer then others.

That is a time when you tend to judge yourself a little more, picking out your imperfections, it could be small things such a spots or small markings, somethings that only you know are there but you feel everyone is judging them. You are just making yourself feel worst about your body when it’s so unnecessary.

This use to be something I’d do mainly on my size but that was until I actually thought, if I don’t have the motivation because it’s not really a problem, then why change it. I’ll just feel worst about myself when I fail trying to change, then I actually would if I don’t attempt to change.

We all have parts we don’t like, for example I don’t like how my legs look in photos, they just seem like bone with lumpy patches of extra skin. Then there’s my teeth, I don’t like how my front tooth over laps the other. I have a wonky nose that I then got pierced to distract you from it. My side burns, yes you read correctly, side burns. This is because when I was younger I had the fun experience of shaving my face, once you shave hair, it grows back darker and thicker. This is a constant problem and it doesn’t exactly make me feel feminine for having to shaving my face.

These are all the negatives, where are the positives?

Just because this is your body doesn’t mean you should be bullying yourself instead.

Parts I like about my body are; the shape of my bum, I love the way it looks in leggings as it really defines the shape. The colour of my eyes, they’re a unique shade of blue that I get a fair few compliments on. My tattoos, yes they may not be natural to me but they are a part of my life’s story, designed by me and ink on me. How thick my hair is, my hair does cause problems with malting but that’s because I’ve got so much.Β When I have time off work, my nails are able to grow, they are amazingly thick and really awesome to paint (when I have the chance.)

You can tell me all the parts you hate about yourself but I’d love to hear you say about the parts you love.

Your hates could very much be what I love.

Just remember everyone’s different.

Lauren

Xoxo

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Shopping Stress

Ever had trouble clothes shopping?
I know I do, Especially if it isn’t my regular shop. There are always thoughts running through my head including; will it fit? Do I need to try it on? would it look right in areas? will I be showing too much chubby skin? I bet it will be too small.
I used to always have this problem, I know it will vary with each one of us as to how we are to get through this situation but the way my thought process is now is, we are in this shop for the same reason so don’t think too much.

You may also have times where you feel people are looking at you but the majority of the time they are just looking and not really taking in what they are looking at but with these thoughts I feel I shouldn’t pick up items that I like including bikini’s, crop tops and clingy outfits because I feel I am being judged just from looking at them let alone wearing them.
I don’t know what is more annoying, buying items in a shop and not trying on because you don’t want to be seen purchasing certain items or buying online and not having the opportunity to try on so its then the hassle of trying to return the items when they don’t fit.

weight-loss-apple

Some shops are not always true to size and this bothers me because I already feel big enough with the size I have that I don’t want to make it two, three times bigger especially when they don’t make them bigger. So if they were true to size already there wouldn’t be this problem.
I find with my size that because I’m on the largest regular size, that it’s always been easier purchasing items from the plus size range (if available) but in the smallest size which is a UK 18. This seems to work with the majority of shops but some cases I have to go slightly larger with certain items such as bodysuits and play suits, Just so I have a bit more movable room but it also depends on the material too.

Another problem I have when online shopping is the models they use, yes the item may look good on this thin model but what about us larger ladies, its just a guessing game, even with the plus size clothing they use the same models, but why? this is no help, how do I know how items such a body cons are going to cling, is it going to show every chubby part and curve? I don’t know.

These are all the main problems that spring to mind when I’m doing any form of clothes shopping. If you have any other problems, comment below so I can raise the issue and get more people involved in discussions.

Lauren

xx

Summer body?

Have I got my summer body ready? Yes. Is it was others would class as a summer body? Definitely not.

As summer draws closer, I seem to stumble more and more over memes and photos about having your summer body ready.

In all honesty why do I have to work to achieve my summer body. Why can’t I already just be given that title? Just because my body isn’t someone else’s idea of the perfect summer body, doesn’t mean it’s not perfect to me.

I grew tired of trying to please other people on the way I should look. Yes I may not be how I’d want to look but that doesn’t mean I’m not content of how I currently am. So what if I have a few more lumps and curves compared to you, we are all different and we shouldn’t feel the need to compare ourselves to one another.

So if you’re rocking some high waisted bikini, why can’t I? You’ll see me doing the same.

If I wanna be wearing a crop top and high waisted shorts, I will.

I will not be pushed down into thinking I’m not good enough and I’m not equal to those worthy of dressing like this just because of my size. So you will more then likely see my stretch marks and cellulite, and for you to go ahead and pick out on my imperfections, isn’t that possible I’ve already done that to myself enough times, I don’t need you to also beat me down and lower my confidence.

We all have imperfections, we should all be equal to one another. This doesn’t just apply to being plus size, you may even have scars or birth marks, just things that you don’t like about yourself, but trust me when I say this, you are BEAUTIFUL! Not matter what anyone says.

We shouldn’t be beating each other down with our horrible words, we should be building each other up, there’s already enough cruelness in the world, don’t add to it.

So this time I’ll ask you.

Is your summer body ready?

 

Lauren

xx

 

Boohoo haul

I’ve recently received a Boohoo order and I’m excited to wear these. So first item I purchased was this cold shoulder dress with the criss cross chest.

I’m not much of a dress person but I wanted to change up my look a little, and I’m lovin the criss cross and cold shoulder but having it combined will look pretty awesome. I got it in this dark orange shade, believed to be called cinnamon, not my usual colour but again, just changing it up. The next item was something completely new and something I wanna try in the hopes it’ll actually Suit me, is a faddora hat in black. It was the same hat the model wore with the dress so it’s clearly a combo, it’s just a matter if it’ll look that good on me, In all honesty I’m not really feeling it.

The second item I purchased was a t-shirt tee in black with the words ‘I ain’t sorry’ in block print.

I ain't sorry tee

 

It’s in the same style as a previous tee I purchased from boohoo, my ‘curves are in’ which I absolutely love. The last item was completely random and didn’t really need it but because I’m such a happy spender I brought it. It was a long blue floral skirt, I feel it’ll probably work with a body con or a tucked in vest top. I’m not really a skirt or dress wearer, mainly because I don’t find them comfortable in the hot weather with my inner thighs getting sweaty and chafty, that’s a struggle I find with being plus size.

I might as well add a few more things to this haul post as I was originally gunna do this for another order but never got round to it. So first is a black midi skirt with a layer of frill around the top, this is the first skirt I’ve ever brought in this style, but upon arrival I already know I’ll need to take it up from the bottom a little bit.

Paired with this is a pink bodysuit with the added detail of the cutout sections. I also tried it on with this latest purchase from Primark, which was also trying out something new.

I got slightly carried away with the sale and purchased another bodysuit.

This is a high neck with gold sequin detailing. The fit was amazing and not tight at all, making sure the booty isn’t squashed. I hate having such tight bodysuits that you’ll need to sneakily pull out that wedgie.

So that is all from this Boohoo haul, I’ve got a few more hauls lined up so feel free to follow me πŸ™‚ .

Lauren

xx

Why I wanna blog

The reason I wanna blog is not to get likes and views but for the soul purpose I actually enjoy writing and it being things that actually interest me, so I might as well put it out there for all to read. I’ve wanted to blog ever since I was about to finish college in June 2016 as I was inspired by a variety of people on social media about the various topics of being plus size and since I’d had my own experiences I just wanted to share my view and side of the story.

I can’t say it’s been easy thought my life and I’ve had a fair few down times, that even my closest family didn’t find out about till this past year. I can say I still do struggle with many things but I hate feeling down so much so I do try to find the positives in my day, even if they are a little harder to find.

Beautifully big was not my first blog site, I originally had one called ‘big curves of confidence’ it is still up but eventually my passion for that site ran dry as I was in such a rush to start it, that I never fully planned it out. It was all so new to me that I never actually took the time to learn how it all worked but I am still learning for this one.

There is so many different tools and WordPress is such a bigger platform to blogger. When I see how good other people’s blogs are, I feel like that’s something I wanna create because I know I can, it’s just having the motivation to do so.

Being plus size on the Internet I find so little things about, I mean it has gotten more popular but I’ve still not found a lot of people talking about their struggles or problems, of course which I know about, it’s maybe the possibility they’re scared to talk about them because of the fear of judgment but I wanna make that change and speak up.

Everything-we-judge-in-others-is-something-within-ourselves-we-dont-want-to-face.Stay tuned.

Love your curves

Over the years I’ve had a strong dislike to my body, the way certain curves are and how bright some of my stretch marks show. I would constantly cover my body in clothing, not wanting people to see these imperfections I held.

In recent years I have learnt that life should be lived to its fullest and you should always do what makes you happy because in reality people are constantly picking on people’s imperfections and judging. I believe one of the reasons I wore so much wasn’t to my benefit but to others because I didn’t want that judgement, although I knew I was always getting it, I just limited it.

There is still certain types of clothing that I won’t wear because how it exaggerates my curves, such as body cons, I did buy one last year when I was going through a faze of confidence but it did reveal every single one of my curves, over my back and tummy. I will say I would like a change in how parts of my body look but as of now I am comfortable as it is. If I wasn’t that happy with my body I would really try to fix it because I know I can, but every diet I’ve tried previously has fail because how extreme they were. This was mainly one called ‘slim fast’ which basically is two milkshakes or a snack bar, one at breakfast, the other lunch then a meal for dinner under 600 calories . I believe it failed mainly because it wasn’t for my benefit but to become a guy I liked ideal girl. In all honesty you should never change the way you look for someone because if they don’t like how you look then they have no reason to be in your life, especially if they can’t truly accept you.Β 18035608_1947083315510702_114653455_n

Judgement

Throughout my life I have always been judged on my size. People make it so its not obvious but its always pretty clear to me as they always pick the thinner, prettier women in the end. An incident at college nearing the end of my time there was when another student was asking around for people to be in her photography photo shoot. I made it clear that I was happy to help but she then said something along the lines of my hair type wasn’t what she was looking for. It may sound silly but this did effect me in a small way because it was clear that she wanted the typical slender women to promote her made up brand.
I’ve had the feeling of judgement through guys before, they may not say it but I just know its my size that is the problem as to why they don’t commit. I feel as though they are embarrassed to be seen with me but what bothers me about this situation is they knew exactly who I was before anything started and when it got real they didn’t want to pursue.
Of course there has been other occasions where judgement has also been involved, in situations such as school with physical education. I always found the majority of the time I was picked from the last few people but what made me proud was when the activity was Hockey. I’d never played it before but surprisingly I was really good and my team always cheered me on. From then on for Hockey I was always picked first. This gave my confidence a real boost and made me realise that no matter what your appearance may be, if you’re good at something then that doesn’t matter.

I know I’m not some perfect, gorgeous, sexy women. Yes I have imperfections but who doesn’t? I have stretch marks, curves I don’t want. And yes I know people who judge me straight up on that but honestly if that’s how you’re gonna act so be it, you’re just missing out on some amazing people and for me I’ll probably have the privilege of knowing them, so really it’s your loss.
Just remember in life that people are always going to judge no matter what, so you might as well dress how you like and act the way you want. Along the way you may lose people but that only shows they weren’t worth having in your life, as people who truly care wouldn’t judge you like that.