Mental health awareness.

This month (May) is mental health awareness and I thought about doing a post on my health previously, in fact I’ve already been writing it so I thought I might as well combine it into this one.

I’ve not yet been diagnosed with OCD but after doing in depth research I know that I do suffer a variety of different forms, especially after my sister had actually been so diagnosed but with a different form of OCD. The OCD I suffer with, people are most likely to so say that’s nothing serious but for me it affects my everyday life, with the majority of time being slightly late for work and meeting up with people, just before bed when setting my alarm and even leaving the house. These forms of OCD also cause me to have anxiety and it’s really not nice as they can cause me to have a not so nice of a day.

My OCD causes me to count, count the things that can cause danger to myself or others. In the mornings there are two major things that’ll make me late for work. These include my hair straighteners, I leave them awhile to cool while I finish getting ready then I come back to them, continually touching them to see if they’re cool and making sure they are unplugged and switched off.

I the have to count and touch till the number 13 and this can go on up to three times. I’m not sure why the number 13 but it must be done. The second thing that can make me late to work is the front door. If my parents are out I have to do the same with the door and push it 13 times to make sure it’s shut, a few times I’ve even walked back from the top of my road to check again, this is why I always hope they’re in for when I leave so I can skip out that step.

Setting my alarm at night for work in the morning, it’s a serious challenge and its gotten worst lately, to the point it can take me 10 minutes just looking at the little clock symbol in the corner. The other night when I had my boyfriend sleeping round, it already taken 4 minutes, so he started rubbing my back and saying its all set, calming me down.

I’ve recently spoken to my boyfriend and sister about going to the doctors and actually sorting this out as its bothering me that much, it’s just gotten worst over the years and I say I started this around the age of 12, I’m now 20.

It changes day to day on what I might be checking depending whether or not I’ve used it. I’ve also seemed to have broken many things in my time from checking, I’ve gone through quite a few alarm clocks because where I constantly press a button, it’d stick inwards. I’ve broken my home button on my iPhone from pressing to see the clock symbol. Sink taps from twisting them so tight, end up loosening the bolt causing it to leak. Not one I break but cause me pain is, doing up bottle lids so tight that when it comes to opening them, they pull all the skin on my hand, making them very dry and red raw.

I’m also believed to have a form of dyslexia, my brother has a form and people who spend time with me notice it too. I can mix letters and words up, I also have trouble reading certain words that are actually not difficult. Not long ago I was reading a billboard at a train station with my boyfriend and there were quite a few words I couldn’t sound out properly, along with leaving the train I mixed up the open and close buttons, that one worried me a little as I’ve never been that bad. Everyday I’m with someone with a different form of mental illnesses, they aren’t always noticeable, even people that you least expect could be going through so much, yet seem so fine.

Mental illness is a serious matter with more and more people being diagnosed each day, we should all be a little more considerate of one another. Some things that are said as a joke can be taken the wrong way and cause all sorts of problems for people that suffer.

Well I wish you all the best.

Happy mental health awareness month?

Lauren

Xx

The Dangers Of Online

When I was younger I had one extremely scary experience with being online. They always tell you to be careful on the big wide web as there’s so many creeps and weirdos out there, but then on the other hand I knew so many people who got into relationships through online.

Given the fact I was about 9 years old, little did I know they were actually through proper dating apps and again why did I think I needed a boyfriend at this age, I’m guessing it was through things like TV that because people were dating, I felt like I was missing out.

Any woo I was on some child’s online game, where it’s a free roam, connecting to people all around the world, I believe it was called ‘Habio’. At the time I was on my friends PC, who I’d hadn’t seen in ages.

I then ended up talking to some character, believing whatever people said was actually true. I learnt out the hard way. At this age I was old enough to have a phone for the purpose of when I stay with my mum I can contact my dad, along with being able to walk home from school I would use it in emergencies.

When my friend left the room, I continued to talk to this person. They ended up typing their phone number, me being so gullible back then, I put the number in my phone, thinking oh wow I could actually have a boyfriend. I then proceeded to message the person. That’s when the fear all began.

My friend returned and I received my first message, it was a photo of a child in a school, something they searched in Google. Receiving those messages continue for about three or four times that evening.

I then received a phone call and all I could hear was old men laughing, I then built up the courage to say ‘if you don’t stop I will call the police!’ After that I didn’t receive any more messages but I still turned my phone off for the fear that they may some how track and kidnap me. I never bothered to tell anyone for the reason being I knew I would get told off and have my phone taken away, believe me I learnt my lesson just from the fear. It stayed only between my friend and I.

So please remember to be careful online, there are so many dangers out there.

Lauren

xx

GirlBoss Review

Amazing. That’s all I needa say… Nahh jokes but it was amazing. I loved how you saw her development starting simple from her passion to end up creating a business.

If you haven’t seen the show, I highly recommend it. The plot is basically a girl named Sophia, has been shown as a misfit, she discovers a passion for fashion and becomes an unlikely businesswoman in the process. She has many struggles involving money and her relationship with her boyfriend. As her business grows, she has to learn to cope with life as her own boss.

The show is really inspiring, giving you the message that it is possible to follow your dreams. This is what inspires me most, yes it may be a TV show and not real but that doesn’t mean it’s not possible to reach for your dreams. So one day I hope to do my dream job and living life how I want to live it, not made to do things I don’t wanna do, being unhappy. You’ve gotta work hard and sacrifice at the start to get that end result. No pain, no gain.

Lauren

xx

YouTube?

I’m actually thinking about making a YouTube channel, not for the views or likes as such, of course they’d help though. Mainly just for fun, getting other people involved and join in on the journey.

For me I personally enjoy physically talking to people because with face to face you can understand how people are saying things with their facial expressions and sometimes I find I actually get myself into trouble with things I say because they can’t see how I’m saying it through text.
I did try and make a video the other day but my phone ran out of memory and so I used my sisters iPad, again ran out of memory.

I have so many ideas for videos, including the recording of my make up looks and testing videos, DIY’s, and maybe even some daily vlogging with random topics.

I’m intending to get a new camera Today, I’m hoping to get a camera with a tilt screen so I can of course see myself πŸ˜‰ , I just think that’ll be easier if I do plan to film. I’m really excited though as it will be my first camera I’ve brought myself and its a fairly expensive one, but even if I don’t do YouTube, I’ll have some better quality photographs.

Lauren

xx

My Polyamorous Relationship

Polyamory is an interesting subject, it’s basically engaging in multiple sexual relationships with the consent of all the people involved. This post is random I know but it’s something that may interest others. There are a few configurations of how a polyamorous relationship can be formed.

Here’s a few examples:

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When I first got with my boyfriend I was actually entering into a relationship to create a polyamorous one, It would have been the top right example. I had my reasons for doing this, but in the end it didn’t work out and I ended up with the guy from it. This works better for long distance relationships, which is one of the reasons for why I entered. For me I’d been speaking to a guy in Australia for over two years.

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He ment a lot to me because when I met him online, I wasn’t in a good place mentally. I felt so alone and felt as though no one cared. I was so fortunate to have met him as he was in a similar situation as me. I wanted it to work for us but lack of funds made it very difficult along with interpreting wrong things. No one knew about this until I did enter the polyamorous relationship. As I wanted people to understand the reasons why. After I entered it the Australian no longer wanted to be involved with me and that really hurt me but things have a way of working out. The people in the relationship were also in a long distance, him England and her America, from what I know it wasn’t easy for them either. I can certainly say it hasn’t been easy, there have been a fair share of arguments but everything does seem to work out, it’s just me and the guy now. I can say I’m definitely not interested in doing anything like that again, turns out I don’t really like sharing.

13 reasons why review

I felt it was absolutely amazing, so many parts were relatable. It had such a well based plot with that mix of drama, romance and just left you on the edge after each episode. I actually watched nine episodes in a row on the first day, it was just that incredible. I’d recommend it to anyone cause it’s defiantly worth a watch. source.gif

There are defiantly lessons to be learned from this show, including you never know what’s happening in some bodies life and if you’re adding drama, you really don’t know how far they are from the edge of mentally losing it.13-reasons-why-hannah-baker-crying-gif

Honestly there have been people adding to my problems lately that are so unnecessary and it has just continued to build and build, eventually I will be some really sad person that’ll not want to do anything. I know there’s people out there suffering many more problems then I am, so why can’t we just be kind to one another? Such simple things can be done, even just using basic manners out in pubic can show people have some form of humanity left in them.

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My Claims To Fame.

Over the years I’ve met quite a few famous people and they’ve each been a breath taking moment in there own way. On the 10th of December 2009 I was lucky enough to meet a big time band at the time, N-Dubz. If you haven’t heard of them, they are three person rap group, based in London and made their first day beau with the single ‘strong again’. I was so fortunate enough as my dad wrote to their manager about how big of fans my sister and I were, and so with a little luck the manager responded, it had to be kept top secret as the manager didn’t want everyone doing this sort of thing. tah da, we met them.

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A few years later which was the most shocking experience was meeting the man united football team of 2012 on the 13th of April. It included visiting their training ground where no photographs were to be taken but instead having a team photo with them. My dad was fortunate to have a conversation with BryanΒ Robson and I got patted on the back by Rio Ferdinand.

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The far greatest meeting for me was the singer Tom Chaplin originally from the band Keane. He’s had a great impact on me with his music with so many songs that are relatable. Since Tom went solo he may not be as famous but instead has a deeper impact with his music and I was so so fortunate to have met him. I was lucky enough to get a photo with him and he personally signed my album.

Thanks for reading, feel free to check out some of my other posts, I have so many more to come. πŸ™‚

Β  Β Lauren x